Having a Baby is As Awesome As Being A Traumatized War Vet

Here's another reason getting knocked up is about as appealing to me as cancer. You might get PTSD. Good times.

And even better, one expert says, once you have PTSD, you have it forever. "You can definitely improve from it, but something can always bring it up." Just one more way babies can totally ruin your life.

I Don't Need a $2000.00 Phone Bill

via Funny Facebook Fails

Your Kids Will Kill You Over Chores

This is why I don't have a kid: Teen Murders Parents Over Chores

More Reasons I Don't Have a Kid

If I had this woman's life I'd want to kill myself.

Saw two couples last week who'd recently had children. One dad walked up to the other with an especially life-like, boob-shaped bottle, shoved it into his friend's face and said "does this smell right?" I said, "did you just ask him to sniff your wife's breast milk?" They both stared at me like I was the crazy one.

I never want to get to a point in my life where my husband is asking his friends to sniff something that came out of me. This is why I don't have a kid.

Kids are Gross

Today I read this on fmylife.com

"Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML"

Vomtastic! This is why I don't have kids.

Parents Are Gross

Apparently, once you have kids you become gross and insane and want to eat placenta. All I can say is EW!

I Love My Planet

We've heard about a trillion times that people without kids are selfish. Parents are the heroes, selflessly giving their lives to their kids. Oh and selflessly wrecking our planet in the process. Just check out the environmental havoc wrought by babies.

Yes, I get it. Some people just have to have their mini-mes and a giant SUV to cart them around in. Just don't pretend this makes you a good guy.