Alright, maybe parents do get it on, but if it involves trips to the kid-friendly sex shop and trading in your vibrator for a more child friendly rubber ducky version, count me out! Sex is supposed to be sexy and trolling the kid-friendly sex store complete with diaper changing stations, “Sexy Moms” products, and stroller accessible aisles makes my boner shrivel.
In general, parents seem to develop weird ideas about boundaries. My baby-having friends cheerfully regale me with tales of nipple infections and mucous plus. I see parents acting entitled to bring their tykes to 5 star restaurants on a Saturday night. It comes as no surprise to me that there are parents out there expecting sex shops to cater to them as well.
A lot of what I write in this blog might leave readers the impression that I'm a self-centered jerk because I think martinis and Manolo Blahniks are a higher priority than child-rearing. The truth is part of what turns me off about becoming a parent is the self-centered behavior I see in most parents.
I don't want to become one of those assholes that thinks the world should bend for me because I squeezed out a kid. I don't want to be the one terrorizing airline passengers and grocery store patrons with my screaming spawn. I don't want to be hogging the sidewalk with my monster SUV stroller, running joggers and other pedestrians into the street. If you're one of the few parents out there who doesn't act like a self-important douche, that's great but you're a rarity. I'm not sure I could be as well-behaved while dealing with the demands of parenting and I'd rather not find out.
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