Chances Are Good that I Will Fuck Up

While I feel like it's unfair that people judge my life choices now, I know the grass isn't greener on the other side. Having kids means everyone will judge every move you make. I'm only vaguely aware of the Mommy Wars but I know enough to know I want no part of them. Apparently all the mommies are keen on judging one another for choices about breastfeeding, co-sleeping, TV watching, organic food, staying home with the kids, not staying home with the kids, cloth diapering, vaccinations and more. Who needs that kind of aggravation?

I can only imagine the nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach that whatever choices I was making about raising kids would be the wrong ones and somehow I'd manage to raise a complete social misfit.

Beyond the petty arguments about the pros and cons of homeschooling, there are more black and white ways parents screw up all the time and I could definitely be guilty of those mistakes. Nearly every parent I've ever known (my own included) has admitted that they, at least once, lost their child some place. Everyone I know personally was lucky enough to get their children back, but what about the parents who don't? Turn your eye for a second and poof, your kid could vanish. That kind of stress and responsibility is not for me. I get queasy when I misplace my cellphone. I can't imagine misplacing a human.

I don't want the physical and emotional well-being of another human entirely dependent on my ability to do all the right things at all times. I want the option to occasionally fuck up and not have to worry about hurting anyone else. I, along with the rest of society, tend to go a lot easier on people when their stupid moves hurt no one but themselves. As soon as a kid enters into the equation as a possible victim, everyone's ready to break out the pitchforks and torches. I'm not saying I disagree with society. Kids are an awesome responsibility and people who have them should consider this above all else. I am just saying I don't want that responsibility for myself.